An email from a teenage girl

The following is an email message that I received from a young teenager who was here on a trip this summer. I think she learned a lot about the heart of our Heavenly Father for the orphan child. I asked her if I could share her email on my blog and she said yes. Here it is....

I am a teenage girl who has always felt that for all of my days I will glorify God. I used to think that I would be talking to the hearts of hurting teens...before I realized I have little patience for those between 12 and 18. For the past year I felt that God was calling me to the mission field overseas. I never had a second thought about going to Mexico. I fell in love with a young girl in Mexico by means of a picture that had been taken from the February trip LPV took. I was determined that God wanted me to meet her, to talk to her.  However, the day my dad lost his job, I considered not going on account of finances. Then God provided.  I continued to believe that this little girl was bringing me to Mexico. Although I said I had no expectations, I fully expected to meet her. Four months later and thousands of prayers for this little girl, I went to Monterrey. I learned the day after I arrived that 1) our group was not going to visit the home of this little girl and 2) she was not at her home. My heart broke into a million pieces, or what felt like it, anyway. I didn't even know this little girl's name and I was bawling from heartache, feeling that this child was not safe at "home" and angry that I felt so much pain for a girl I didn't know. Angry that I seriously believed a little girl brought me to Mexico. I allowed God to break my heart, though. I learned that God used that little girl to show me His heart. He allowed my heart to break so i could feel, on a miniscule scale, the pain He feels for His children. Except, He knows every single one of His children by name. I needed to hang onto that one child and feel the pain for that ONE child because if I hadn't, I wouldn't have seen the bigger picture. The statistic of orphans did not break my heart, it is a number. But for that one child, my heart shattered. God knew this. His love is far beyond my human heart. How much patience and care must He have to allow me to feel for the heart of an orhan so that I may recieve the other children with a heart broken for the right reasons?  I will tell you now, I did not meet this girl. Looking back, though, I did. I met this girl in the 10 year old that stole my heart, the 8 year olds that left their handprints on my shirt after painting, the young child I fed at Casa Hogar Douglas,  and every child I came in contact with. The broken heart is the only way to reach and reach out to the human heart. God takes a broken heart and mends it and connects it to others and even allows a heart to break so that it may break for what breaks His. If the cry of my heart is to break with the things that make God's heart break, that means some pain, but so much joy. Joy in the eyes of an orhpan accepting Christ into her heart. Joy in the hug of an orphan-a person, a friend.  Thank you, Mr. Jim, for letting God break your heart for the heart of the orphans. I don't have much, but I offer God my life, and to you and B2B, my prayers. I cannot promise  the needed $5200 for meals in Rio 3. I cannot promise a fiesta to raise this money or that I will be an intern next summer, but I offer this all to God, and can promise you that His ways are perfect everytime. I can promise that God's timing, while not mine, is perfect. And darkness does not hide light - is not darkness measured by light? May you be a light. thank you. -Lauren Ellis